


Spice

by dreamyloner



Series: Fire & Ice [9]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7703809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamyloner/pseuds/dreamyloner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the week of world conferences, Hong Kong experiences a series of mysterious and unnatural incidents. He blames it on bad Feng Shui at first, but soon suspects that someone is playing some malicious pranks on him. It doesn't help that this person seems to be testing his relationship with Iceland. He is determined to confront this guy.</p><p>Meant to be a crack fic. Pure joke.<br/>Pairings: Iceland x Hong Kong, Norway x Denmark (hinted)<br/>Warning: possible OOC, slight brother complex (?), inappropriate use of magic spells XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spice

At first, Hong Kong didn’t pay much attention to it.

It wasn’t really that serious. He wasn’t the type to make a fuss over trivial things. It would make him appear overly dramatic and he wouldn’t want people to associate him with South Korea.

There were missing things. He would miss a bottle or two. A lighter. Handkerchief. Coins. No big deal. Then there went his documents. Not exactly missing but misplaced. He remembered putting them on the desk. How they ended up in the closet he had no idea. This also happened to most of his personal belongings. His stationary went from his pencil case to the shelves in the toilet. His wallet went from his bag to his drawer. His luggage moved from the bedroom to the kitchen. Maybe he was getting more forgetful. But he wasn’t the kind to doubt himself. If this happened to China, he wouldn’t be surprised. Geez, that nation is so ancient it is practically normal for him to forget and misplace stuff frequently.

And then, there was this one time he entered his hotel room after a world meeting and every furniture was upside down. He got scolded by the hotel manager and nearly got kicked out. He took his Royce Rolls and the new tyres got punctured in a flash. He tried the drinking fountain and for some reason the water kept splashing over his face. He went to do the laundry and all his red clothes turned into blue. He opened the fridge and all he found was…fish. Raw fish. Rotten fish. Squirming among his snacks.

“Good gracious.”

He blinked at the fridge and shut it. Right, he wasn’t shocked. Nothing could shock him. This was apparently some poor prank pulled by some spiritually poor people.

A knock came on the door.

“Leon?”

As soon as he heard Iceland’s voice, he relaxed a little.

“You in there?”

“Yea, a moment please.” He straightened his shirt and fixed his bangs before walking towards the door. He grabbed the knob and…

“Leon?”

Weird. The knob wouldn’t turn. He gave it another shot.

“Leon, are you okay in there?”

“Yea, there’s some problem with the knob.” Hong Kong frowned and twisted the knob. Time for the inhuman strength.

**Thud.**

The knob came off but the door was still locked.

 “Leon, what’s happening?” Iceland started banging on the door anxiously. “Should I get someone?”

“Nah, it’s, like, totally fine.” Hong Kong blinked at the broken knob. Great. He wouldn’t let this discompose him. He tossed away the broken metal and positioned himself. “I just want you to stand a bit backwards, Ice.”

“Huh?”

“On second thought, would you, like, please stand aside. Away from the door.”

“Leon, what’re you doing?”

“Just listen to me."

Iceland snorted and stood away from the door.

_There it goes…_

**BANG.**

Iceland’s eyes widened as the door went flying in the air, missing his head just an inch. If he had had a fragile heart, he would have died of a heart attack.

“Gosh.” He stared in astonishment at his boyfriend, who remained unfazed. His brown hair was rather dishevelled, as if he hadn’t got time to comb it all day. His eyes were hollow and exhausted. All the beam was gone, except for a couple of dark circles surrounding them.

Hong Kong let down his leg and shrugged.

“Damn it, that was totally awesome!”

They both turned to America, who just happened to pass by with his extra large cheese burger. The blond started laughing and clapping.

“You just busted the door? Seriously?” Iceland frowned at Hong Kong.

“Well, circumstances required me-”

“Oh shut it, you’re gonna get another complaint from the hotel.” Iceland rolled his eyes. “And this is the third complaint in two days.”

“I, like, couldn’t help it,” Hong Kong said and crossed his arms nonchalantly. “Obviously, either this hotel has bad Feng Shui or I’m getting some real bad luck. Nothing ever works these days.”

“Dude, I thought you were playing some real kick-ass Kung Fu game.” America laughed. “You just blew up your kitchen yesterday! And now you tore down the door. What’s next?”

“America!” the couple growled simultaneously. The blond laughed and walked off.

Iceland waited until America disappeared around the corner and turned to his partner.

“Care to tell me why you’re acting so odd lately?” Iceland squinted and stepped into the room. He cornered the other boy to the wall.

“What?” Hong Kong furrowed his brows. “You, like, think I’m doing this on purpose?”

“No, I’m just asking.” Iceland sighed and put his hands on the other boy’s shoulders. “Are you alright? Do you need any help? Too much stress?”

“Ice, there’s obviously something going on!”

“You can’t blame it on some stupid superstitions.”

“But-”

“You’re clearly stressed. You should take more rest. Let’s cancel our date today?”

“No!” Hong Kong protested. He felt like crying. Nothing could be worse than calling off their date. He had been waiting to spend some quality time with Iceland for nearly a month. Living on the opposite sides of the world didn’t help much with their relationship, in particular when both were bombarded by so much administrative work, had two annoying brothers that disapproved of their intimacy and the time difference always restricted their skype meeting.

“I’m, like, perfectly fine. It’s just, well, someone’s been playing pranks on me.”

“Playing pranks on you?” Iceland resisted the urge to laugh and pinched the Asian’s cheeks. “Oh, you’re so adorable.”

“Ice! I’m being serious here.” Hong Kong sighed. “No bad luck can be this catastrophic. I’m sure someone’s behind all this.”

“Now, now, don’t talk, you need some sleep. Some good sleep to restore your mental health. You’re straining yourself too much.”

Iceland chuckled, turned Hong Kong around and led him back into the room.

“Ice,” Hong Kong whined, "for the last time, I’m telling you I’m not fucking stressed.”

“Did you just swear?” Iceland cocked his eyebrows and glanced at his partner.

“Sorry,” Hong Kong muttered. Iceland forced him to sit down on the bed.

“You know what,” the Scandinavian boy said with a smile, “take a nap and we’ll head out for dinner together.”

“But-”

“No objections.” Iceland shushed him. He bent down and kissed Hong Kong’s forehead.

“Now I have a headache.” Hong Kong rubbed his temples. His lids drooped a little.

“See? I told you you’re just exhausted.”

“Right, maybe I really should get some sleep before any other shit happens,” the Asian grumbled and lay down on his king-sized bed. Iceland draped the blanket over him.

“Aren’t you, like, gonna join me?” Hong Kong tapped the empty space beside him childishly.

“Leon.” Iceland frowned and looked around the room suspiciously, “I heard something…”

“Yea?”

“From the fridge...” Iceland gasped and pointed to the fridge.

“Oh, I nearly forgot all about that,” Hong Kong muttered. “There’re some fish in my fridge. Maybe you can cook some of them.”

“What?” Iceland scrambled towards the fridge and opened it. “Jesus Christ, where did you get so many fish!”

“I don’t fish, just so you know.”

“Leon!” Iceland scrunched his nose and stepped away from the water leaking out of the fridge.

“What?” Hong Kong bounced up from his bed. “I told you I didn’t do it! Some creep put some disgusting fish in my fridge!”

“I will not allow you to insult these high-class fish from the North!”

“Wait-” Hong Kong narrowed his eyes and asked, “Did you just say these fish are imported from your place?”

“Probably somewhere near Norwegian Sea,” Iceland said. “I could tell by first glance.”

Hong Kong stayed silent for a while.

“We can actually have them for dinner,” Iceland suggested.

Hong Kong flopped back down on the mattress and groaned.

“Come on, look on the bright side, I cook decent fish.” Iceland giggled and returned to the bedside. He kicked off his shoes and climbed into the blanket with his partner.

“ ** _Thanks_** a lot, dear,” Hong Kong said sarcastically and snuggled up against Iceland.

**oOo**

He vaguely remembered going to bed with Iceland that night. They had some real fun time. He was so certain they slept together. Iceland even wrapped his arms around him. He could feel his warm, gentle breath on his hair. His pale, elegant fingers were tangled in his messy brown locks.

So, why the fuck did he wake up in the park?

And not just any parks. He woke up in Kensington Gardens (yes, England was the host country this time.)

Hong Kong sat up on the grass and stared at the round pond. Swans. Ducks. Palace. Damn it. What the hell was wrong with him?

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He lay back down and attempted to sleep. This had got to be a dream.

And then, there were gasps and whispers.

He bounced up again and realised he had nothing on but a blanket crudely wrapped around him.

Shit. He was naked.

That didn’t end well, indeed.

He raced back to the hotel. Iceland was fuming by the time he spotted him.

“Ice, listen-”

“HONG KONG!” China’s voice came blasting down the hallway. All the Asian nations were there. His brothers and sisters were eyeing him dubiously. China looked very concerned. Taiwan went forward to put a hand on his forehead to check if he had a fever. South Korea wouldn’t stop pestering him and claiming his bare “breasts”. Macau patted his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. Japan blinked at him, camera ready to take revenge for his last photo-shooting prank.

“What happened? Why did someone say you were running naked in the park?

Hong Kong rolled his eyes and ignored his mentor.

“Hong Kong, did you lose a dare da-ze!”

He struggled out of the Korean’s clasp and smacked him upside the head.

“Kaoru-kun, are you alright?”

He glared at Japan as the camera kept flashing.

“Bloody hell, Hong Kong, the Queen asked me why you were naked in Kensington Gardens!”

Now came the disgruntled gentleman. He stomped into the lobby and scowled, hands on his hips.

“Look, this is, like, a total misunderstanding.” Hong Kong put up his hands to defend. The blanket dropped to the ground. Everyone gasped.  

“Could you put some clothes on?” Iceland growled.

Hong Kong quickly retrieved the blanket. His cheeks went red with the embarrassment. The Asian ran back into his room and dressed himself.

“I don’t get it.” Iceland stood by the door and glared at his boyfriend. “What on earth is going on?”

“Well, I wanna know too,” Hong Kong said, slapping his own forehead.

“I woke up this morning and you were gone.” Iceland shook his head in disbelief. "And the blanket too.”

“Look, Ice, I got teleported to the park. You have to believe me. I didn’t go there naked on my own. Otherwise I would be sleepwalking!”

“Do you need a doctor?”

“What?” Hong Kong widened his eyes. “You think I’m insane?”

“No, there’s just so much going on I think it’s best for you to-”

“I AM FINE.” Hong Kong stood up and stomped towards Iceland. He shook his shoulders and cried, “I’m not sick or anything. Someone, like, did this to humiliate me or for whatever bad intent they’re having!”

“And now you’re being delusional…”

“Ice, why wouldn’t you believe me?”

They stared at each other for a long awkward moment. Hong Kong was frustrated. Not because he was trapped in all this ridiculous misfortune. But for once, Iceland wouldn’t believe him. He thought he would be the last person to judge him.

“I like you,” Iceland eventually blurted out and cupped the other’s burning cheeks. “You know that. I want to believe in you. But I also want to make sure you’re absolutely fine.”

“I’ll be, if this fucking person stops fucking with me,” Hong Kong snarled. That was when Iceland realised he was utterly irritated. He wouldn’t swear this much unless he was really driven to the point of extreme indignation.

“I’ll get you some tea,” Iceland whispered and kissed his partner affectionately. “That will calm your nerves.”

Hong Kong sighed and walked back to the chair. He sat down and laid his head on the table.

“And now everyone thinks I’m, like, a fucking pervert who runs around the street naked.”

“Please, France does that all the time.” Iceland chuckled. “They’ll soon forget about the incident.”

“But I’m not France. I don’t go out without any clothes on.” Hong Kong banged his head on the table. “Oh dear, this is, like, so mortifying. All my siblings are gonna think I’m a freak. It’s not like I haven’t got enough problems socialising with others already.”

“I’m sure we’ll figure out something.” Iceland smiled and placed a cup of hot tea in front of his boyfriend. “I’ll stay by your side.”

The Asian eyed the tea. He wanted to comment on the eerie colour of it but decided not to. He took a sip of it.

“Shit!” Hong Kong spilled out the tea and stared horrified at the dark liquid. “That’s ink!”

“What?”

Iceland gasped and examined the contents.

“It tastes like ink…”

Iceland snorted and tried the tea himself. He nearly puked.

“What did you put in?”

“I…I just…” Iceland frowned, perplexed. “The tea bags. Boiling water. Really...”

Hong Kong ran over to the cupboard and opened the tin of tea bags. Everything was soaked in black ink.

“God, you can’t be serious." He shook his head.

“What’s it?” Iceland took a peek at the tin inside and covered his mouth with his hand.

“Now, don’t look at me like that,” Hong Kong said. “I clearly wouldn’t ruin my own tea bags.”

“Then who the hell did that?”

**oOo**

Hong Kong was sure he didn’t provoke anyone. He hardly ever spoke in the world meeting. He was there to meet Iceland, to be honest. And maybe picked up some work for China, offered a couple of advice to Taiwan as to how she could isolate herself from her teacher, keep South Korea’s ADHD under control and helped Japan hide some manga and cameras in the conference room.

He was never someone people would dwell much on. This person had to hate him a lot to play all these malicious tricks on him.

He stared at the nail on his chair.

Iceland was stunned to say the least. Now he truly believed that his boyfriend was being menaced.

“We should report this to someone,” he suggested.

“Nah.” Hong Kong shrugged it off and took the nail. He examined the glittering sharp metal and scanned the room.

“But this is getting too far,” Iceland said.

“Ice, do you mind getting me a drink?”

“What? At a time like this?”

“We’re early.” Hong Kong grinned.

“Fine.” Iceland sighed and walked out of the conference room.

Hong Kong shut the door and looked around the empty room again.

“I, like, know you’re in here,” he said. “Stop hiding. I know who you are.”

The boy strutted around the room.

“Invisible charm?” Hong Kong smirked. He didn’t come unprepared. He took out a big bottle of ink and splashed it at the corner. Whoever hiding there tried to dodge. Hong Kong waved a finger. The chair slid across the mat. The nation tripped and the ink landed his clothes. Navy blue fabrics grew into sight.

“Damn it.” Norway stood up from the ground gracefully. He adjusted his hat and dusted his shirt.

“It’s, like, taken me long enough to figure this out.” Hong Kong smiled.

“I expected you to remain oblivious forever, to be frank.” Norway smiled back.

“Now, now, I’m not that stupid.”

“You think you’re smart?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but I do doubt the intelligence of someone who so indulges in all these childish antics.” Hong Kong snickered.

“Childish?” Norway squinted. He snapped his fingers. The vase leapt into the air.

Hong Kong looked up at the floating vase and then back at Norway.

“Woah, you, like, wanna fight?”

“It’s called a duel.” Norway laughed.

“I like duels.” Hong Kong winked. “What’re we fighting for?”

“Oh you mean the prize.”

“Of course.”

“How about...” Norway rubbed his chin and mused. "You leave my dear Icey alone?”

“Do you have a brother complex or something?” Hong Kong teased.

Norway smiled. The vase fell. Hong Kong mumbled something. The vase went straight to the wall.

“I didn’t know you know magic.” Norway raised his brows in amusement. “Did Arthur teach you this?”

“If he did, I guess the vase would’ve gone straight through my brain.”

Norway laughed.

“He never did a good job hiding his magic books while I was there.”

“Marvellous.” Norway smiled and glimpsed a chair. “How about this.”

The furniture glided across the floor and darted towards the other boy.

Hong Kong sighed. He snapped his fingers. The chair broke into shreds.

“You taught yourself very well, must I say.”

“Because I knew I would have to deal with you sooner or later.”

“Ingenious.”

“Thank you.”

The floor began to quake. A thin layer of frost covered the tiles.

“Like, remind me why I’m playing this silly game with you.”

“It’s a duel. Magic duel.” Norway corrected him. “You like my brother?”

“So?”

“Then, you’ll need to pass my test first.”

“They say you’re eccentric.” Hong Kong took a step back from the frozen tile. “Now I know why.”

Soft, tiny snowflakes started to come down.

“I heard that you’re afraid of the cold.”

“Extreme cold,” Hong Kong clarified.

“Let’s see if you can endure this?”

The temperature plummeted to zero in a second flat. The Asian shivered. Ice circulated around his shoes.

“Now I, like, know where they get the Frozen idea from.” He chuckled.

“I don’t like you getting too close to Emil,” Norway murmured as he approached the Asian slowly. The floor screeched when it came contact with the heels of his boots. “Too close for my comfort.”

“So, you’re, like, playing the over-protective brother now? Just how sickly infatuated are you with Ice?”

“Shut up.” Norway smiled and lifted the other boy’s chin. He leant close and whispered, “And freeze.”

Hong Kong looked down at his frozen shoes and laughed.

“Aren’t you gonna fight back?”

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Hong Kong said. “You know what they say, respect the elders. And since you’re so much older than me, it’s so disrespectful of me to retaliate.”

“Don’t test my temper,” Norway growled. Snow teemed down from the ceiling. Hong Kong sneezed.

“I’m just kidding.” Hong Kong smirked. He blew. The frost turned into sparks. Norway frowned and stumbled back a little. The ice melted. Warmth encased the room.

“And I heard that you can’t stand extreme heat.”

“Now this is getting interesting.” Norway grinned and folded his arms. Everything he froze was overtaken by fire.

He muttered something. Ice daggers hung dangerously above the Asian boy.

Hong Kong stared at the daggers indifferently. His eyes fluttered back to the charming magician.

“Oh, you think you can counteract my spells?” Norway tilted his head and smiled.

Something hot started tickling Norway’s ears. He looked up. Small fires hung above his pale, blond hair.

“Very well.”

“Do you, like, think my fire would take you down first?”

“You’re a big dreamer.” Norway laughed. All the fires were immediately frozen in ice cubes.

“Naïve, but adorable.”

The daggers fell. Hong Kong grunted and ducked. A tiny one caused a faint slit on his cheek. Blood sputtered. The wound healed instantly.

“Oops.” Norway watched in enjoyment. “Still not giving up?”

“No.” Hong Kong wiped off the blood stains and replied, “I like Emil. He likes me. It’s mutual. You have no right to keep us from each other.”

“I guess not.” Norway shrugged. “I’m surprised my tricks haven’t dissuaded you.”

“Oh please, you think so lowly of me.”

“I’m just cautious.”

“Paranoid is the right vocabulary.”

“Ready for the next round?” Norway smiled.

“Get on with it.”

Before he could bring out the biggest whale he could find in the ocean, Iceland kicked open the door.

“Stop! Stop it!” he shouted and scurried to the centre of the room. He held up both his arms and glared at the two boys.

“Oh, it’s you.” Norway chuckled.

“What the hell is going on?” Iceland stomped up to his brother and grabbed his collar. “Lukas, why on earth are you here?”

“Just trying to initiate a friendly chat with your little buddy.” Norway grinned and looked over to Hong Kong. “Right?”

Hong Kong blinked silently.

“Stop lying. I saw the last part. You guys were fighting. And…with magic too? Really?” He looked around the room. Everything was in a mess. Broken furniture. Burnt curtains. Piles of snow in the corners. Frozen tiles.

Norway rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. The room became as new as could be.

“Lukas! Explain what is going on!” Iceland demanded.

Norway looked down at his brother calmly and said, “You should’ve told me earlier you’re dating this weird kid.”

“I’m not a weird kid,” Hong Kong retorted.

“Shut up,” Iceland cried. “You are both weird. I’ve had enough of this bullshit.”

“Come on, Emil, you can’t be mad at me,” Hong Kong argued and walked over to Iceland. “He started it.”

“I’m your brother. I have responsibility to assess your partner.”

“Assess,” Hong Kong quipped. “More like murder.”

Norway shot him a glare.

“Gosh, tell me this isn’t real,” Iceland groaned and held his head in his hands.

**oOo**

Iceland curled up at the edge of the bed facing the window. His cheeks were still flushed because of anger. His brows were creased together. Hong Kong poked his back. Iceland growled and scooted further away.

“I’m, like, really sorry about that.” Hong Kong sighed.

Iceland ignored him.

“But you should sympathise with me,” Hong Kong whined and fidgeted with his own fingers. “Your brother is hella scary.”

“Leon, I can’t believe you actually tagged along with his childish acts. Have you ever considered the consequences?”

“What?” Hong Kong looked confused.

“He’s a pro. If you get any serious with him, he can really injure you.”

“I’m still alive, at least,” Hong Kong said. “And I think he’s holding back.”

“Do you know how I felt when I saw you fighting like two elementary kids? Geez, that mentally scarred me!”

“Aw, come on, I can un-scar you right now.” Hong Kong laughed and snaked his arms around the other’s waist. He pulled the white-haired boy close to him and nuzzled his neck.

“Stop it.” Iceland blushed and looked away.

“Please? We won’t get to see each other for another couple of weeks. This is the last night. You can’t be this cruel.”

“Let me tell you,” Iceland snarled and glared at his partner. “If I ever catch you trying to fight with Lukas again, I’m never ever gonna speak to you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“A warning!”

“Right, got it.” Hong Kong laughed. “But what if he keeps playing pranks on me?”

“Don’t you worry.” Iceland smiled. “I’ll handle him and make sure he accepts you as my lover.”

“I’m betting on you.” Hong Kong smiled and kissed his boyfriend.

In a suite couple of blocks away, Norway sat down on the couch and crossed his legs. He flipped over the pages of his magic book and smirked, “Fire charm? Really?”

“Norge?” Denmark’s obnoxious voice wafted out from the kitchen.

“Quiet,” Norway growled. He slammed the book shut and switched on the television.

“How did it go?” Denmark popped his head out and snickered. “Your duel with that kid.”

“If you want to sleep on the floor tonight, I’m not gonna stop you, dear,” Norway smiled sweetly at his partner.

Denmark pouted and went back into the kitchen with his apron.

“That damn kid knows magic,” Norway mumbled to himself. He hunched forward and squinted. “He fucking knows magic.”

He stared out of the window. The night was dark and quiet. Not a single star shone in the sky. He wondered what the other two boys were up to at the moment.

A smile crept onto his pale face.

“And damn, that’s impressive.”


End file.
